Talking To Strangers

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Or, not by its' title either. Ok, I was guilty of both, so this book was not what I expected. I should mention that I am not a great conversationalist and often struggle to make small talk with people I meet. I am familiar with Malcom Gladwell and have read a handful of his books. I thought this book would provide the data and anecdotal based advice I could use to improve my ability to talk with others. That's not what I got.

 

I should be clear, Talking to Strangers is a great book. I would highly recommend it, especially for people who wish to gain insight into why communication between people breaks down. More specially, how communication between strangers breaks down ... tragically. The research is bookended by the story of Sandra Bland and discusses Bernie Madoff, Neville Chamberlain, Sylvia Plath, and Amanda Knox along the way.

 

Gladwell books have a common tone. The books hold advice, but they are not self-help tomes. He chooses his anecdotes carefully and backs them up with other data and research. I like that he names names. Books of this type often refer to "a successful fortune 500 company" or "a national leader" without indicating who it is. When that happens I am inclined to think one of two things … the material is fiction or the subject does not agree with the assessment. That does not happen here. In fact, if you listen via Audible, you will hear actual recording from many of the subjects.

 

So I did not come away better prepared to strike up a conversation. But I learned a lot about communication regardless.

https://www.amazon.com/Talking-to-Strangers-audiobook/dp/B07NJCG1XS/ref=sr_1_1?crid=TEZVMYU97T6I&dchild=1&keywords=talking+with+strangers+malcolm+gladwell&qid=1590086680&sprefix=talking+wi%2Caps%2C148&sr=8-1

What I am reading | "Savages"

Savages: A Novel
Don Winslow

Nothing makes a long flight more tolerable than a good read. So long along those lines, I found myself in the Phoenix airport looking for a novel to entertain me on my trip back to New Jersey. I settled on Savages because it looked like an engaging quick read.

Anyway, the book is certainly a quick read. Honestly, though, this is probably the dumbest story that I've read since, well, maybe since ever. The characters are all stereotypes. The plot is cliche'. The prose is minimalist. It felt like Winslow tried to channel Cormac McCarthy, but the writing doesn't engage in the same way. I felt I was reading a story written by a sixth grader. Speaking of which, Winslow's poetic license of English grammar is worse than a sixth grader; the writing really has no form.

After reading an action passage, my son summed it up nicely, "wow, he made that explosion sound boring." Oops.

What I am reading | "Ultra-Marathon Man"

Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner
Dean Karnazes



I finished this book recently. It's a pretty entertaining read. While Dean is obviously not a writer by trade, his stories draw you in. While I have no desire to run ultra-marathons, the stories inspire me to continue my running. I found the marathon to the South Pole to be particularly interesting. In any case, this is an easy read; I recommend it for runners at all levels.

What I am reading | "Don't Make Me Think"

Don't Make Me Think! A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability
Steve Krug

I'm slogging my way through this guide to designing easy to use web sites. I had bought it with the idea that it would provide insight into good (web) application design. However, after reading a couple of chapters, it is apparent that web sites, those that provide content, and web applications, those that do something, are different animals.

The book is fine, and is a recommended read for anyone new to web design. Unfortunately for me, Mr. Krug hasn't provided any new ideas that I haven't seen, tried, or evangelized at some point. It's easy to read with good examples; follow the guidelines in the book and your web site won't suck.

Great anecdote from "Users, not Customers"

I just started the book "Users, not Customers: Who Really Determines the Success of Your Business." It starts with a great short anecdote about comparison shopping in our brave new world. If the rest of the book stays as intriguing, this will be a great read.

"My wife loves seltzer water. I can’t stand it, but she will hardly drink water if bubbles aren’t in it. So I thought it’d be great to buy her a soda maker. One afternoon, I passed by a Williams-Sonoma store and decided to stop in. Lo and behold, they had one sitting on the shelf: a SodaStream Genesis drinks maker for $150. But it seemed expensive. I could buy her a pantry full of 150 bottles of premade seltzer for that price. So I decided to shop around. 

I opened the RedLaser app on my iPhone and used it to scan the machine’s bar code to find out what other retailers charged. Bed Bath & Beyond carried the same thing for a hundred dollars. Success! Fifty dollars in savings. I waved down a sales clerk and showed her my findings. But she declined to match the price. 

So right there, in the middle of a beautiful Williams-Sonoma store in a high-rent location on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, I bought the SodaStream Genesis drinks maker—from Bed Bath & Beyond by using my mobile browser."

Once You’re Lucky

I often pick books based on reviews from Wired Magazine. This was true when I picked up Once You're Lucky, Twice You're Good. In Mark Horowitz's review, he claimed that "Sarah Lacy…hangs with [entrepreneurs] them, gains their trust, and gets the goods. No other recent chronicle delivers such intimate, behind-the-scene glimpses into Silicon Valley startup life." It's an entertaining read reminiscent of Accidental Empires.

My issue with the current crop of valley startups has little to do with Sarah Lacy's book, although her tales reinforce my opinion. The problem is very few of the companies actually provide a site that is useful. Even Facebook, the current reigning king of Web 2.0, doesn't help its members solve problems or get things done. Of course my days of finding a good off-campus kegger with lots of girls are long past. As Twitter, Slide, or Ning they seem even less useful.

What's interesting about these sites, though, and the stories Sarah wraps around them, is the underlying technology. Maybe an old-timer like myself doesn't see the benefit of social networking. I do see where collaboration and go anywhere sites can be very useful. I'm expecting a new wave of web startups that take Web 2.0 into truly commercially viable areas.

Here’s a Good Read

I just finished Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. The book has to be one of my most favorite non-fiction reads. I have to admit that Mr. Ariely had me engaged from the first page of the introduction.

Here's the premise; we believe we make perfectly informed decisions, but truth be told we are a product of our nature. That nature makes decisions that are irrational; not only are our decisions irrational, but they are irrational in a consist manner. Through over a dozen chapters supported by controlled experiment, Ariely makes his point that our choices are behavioral.

Do you know why we so often promise ourselves to diet and exercise, only to have the thought vanish when the dessert cart rolls by?

Do you know why we sometimes find ourselves excitedly buying things we don't really need?

Do you know why we still have a headache after taking a five-cent aspirin, but why that same headache vanishes when the aspirin costs 50 cents?

Do you know why people who have been asked to recall the Ten Commandments tend to be more honest (at least immediately afterward) than those who haven't? Or why honor codes actually do reduce dishonesty in the workplace?

By the end of this book, you'll know the answers to these and many other questions that have implications for your personal life, for your business life, and for the way you look at the world. As a bonus you will also learn how much fun social science can be, and how to see more clearly the causes for our everyday behaviors, including the many cases in which we are predictably irrational.
Click here for more information.

I stumbled across the book while browsing "What We're Reading" on Slate. Check it out. In the meantime, I think I'll pay more attention to the books reviewed at Slate.

Middlesex

I recently finished the book Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. The book is a Pulitzer Prize winner and Opra Book Club award winner. It is a well narrated but strange tale of a hermaphite exploring the roots of his condition.

It's hard to compare the story to another book. It spans three generation like many classic "come to America" novels. The subject matter will make some people uncomfortable, with its' thread of incest and gender confusion. In some ways I liken it to Running with Scissors, except that it is much more coherent and expertly told. Running with Scissor is more of a collection of oddball short stories written in a style of a middle-schooler.

I found myself drawn to the time period and location of the story. The narrator is my age, and grows up in the same metropolitan area as I did. References to Detroit places and events brought back memories of my own formative years.

Once started, I found the book hard to put down. I recommend it.

The 33 Strategies of War

I just finish the War book in Robert Greene's amoral series. This is one of those non-fiction books that starts great but becomes a bit of a drag to finish. That said, I would recommend it. History buffs and self-help freaks may find it intriguing.

Greene outlines 33 strategies of War, and then attempts to demonstrate how these are used in everyday life. Many of the strategies are polar opposites; like #4 Create a Sense of Urgency and Desperation and #11 Trade Space for Time. One strategy suggests a quick strike and the other recommends waiting.

I like the historical references. I was especially interested in tales of Alexander the Great and Napoleon, two of Greene's favorites. I also found the stories around the Austrian leader Klemens von Metternich fascinating; I was unfamiliar with Metternich prior to reading this book. Greene also uses several stories of Samurai warriors, another culture that I found intriguing.

Frankly, I found the self-help side of the book a little light. This is much more a history review than a treatise on how to beat your co-workers to a promotion.

Greene's amoral series includes to other volumes, The 48 Laws of Power, and The Art of Seduction. I should check out the latter book...I need lots of help there.

The Kite Runner

Khaled Hossein spins a tale worthy of Charles Dickens. As I read The Kite Runner I was reminded of the stories David Copperfield and A Tale of Two Cities. The first because of the person propose and decades long story line. The second because the situation becomes dangerous for the protagonist when he travels back home.


Hossein, however, avoids the flowery language and odd analogies of Dickens. Instead he writes in a more direct style reminiscent of Hemmingway.


Did I just do that? Did I compare a first novel to Dickens and Hemmingway. How cliche'. Needless to say, I enjoyed the book and recommend it. And don't let Hossein's Afghan roots fool you, the book it definitely written from an American point of view.

No Country for Old Men

I didn't see the movie. I read the book. Here's your warning: this blog is a spoiler for the story, so if you plan on seeing the movie, take a pass on this posting.

I finished No Country for Old Men with mixed feelings. Admittedly I found the story riveting, after all I could hardly put the book down once I had started it. Call me soft, though, I don't like when the bad guy wins.



It is fast paced with a riveting story line. The language is simple and boiled down to the basics. There are no flowery descriptions of peoples feelings or dramatic landscapes. Given that most scenes carry a fair amount of blood, this is a good thing. Characters aren't very deep or well developed, or maybe they just don't live long enough to get developed. It's a perfect story for a Coen brothers movie.



One more thing...the book would be easier to read if the dialog was surrounded by quotes. I don't see why a basic grammar rule would be flat out neglected.

More reading for fun

I read two books recently and they were both pretty good. The first is American Creation and the other is A Tale of Two Cities. Yes the time period is similar in both books, but that was merely a coincidence. I don't have an express interest in 18th century history.

American Creation introduced me to stories about our history that I found intriguing. I had held a belief that the founders were mostly united through a common enemy and purpose. That belief didn't make sense and the stories in American Creation highlight the difference of opinions and approaches that form the basis of our nation. Themes trumpeted by Washington (strong central government) and Jefferson (sovereignty of the states) echo in politics today.

I found A Tale of Two Cities surprisingly good. Sure, I was familiar with the opening page..."the best of times...the worst of times." I had even attempted reading it when I was younger. This time, though, the story had me riveted. Yes, you have to adjust to the flowery language of Charles Dickens, but the story is very suspenseful. Plus there is plenty of violence, intrigue, and romance.

What Were They Thinking?

Here's a book that you can pass on. What Were They Thinking is management dribble that either states the obvious or makes poor conclusion. I've seen the reviews on Amazon and must admit that I disagree. In fact, I think this book is dumb and was very disappointed. I picked the book up based on a magazine review. I didn't feel the anecdotal examples sited by the author truly supported his conclusions. I could easily come up with examples of my own that would refute his claims.

Just read a great book

Ok, while not exactly a summer read, I found Made to Stick is a great book. The book is a must read for anyone struggling to get their message out. The author's method is based on their academic observations which they have summarized with the acronym SUCCESs.

SUCCESs is easy enough. It stands for:

• Simplicity Stripping an idea to it's core, without turning it into a soundbite.
• Upexpectedness Grabbing a person's attention.
• Concreteness Making the idea understandable.
• Credibility Getting people to believe the idea.
• Emotional Getting people to care about the idea.
• Stories Getting people to act on the idea.

Whether you agree with their classifications and conclusions or not, you will find incite in their examples.

Leadership and Self-Deception

I received the book Leadership and Self-Deception as a gift from a close friend of mine recently. The book is written as a parable much like another leadership book, The Goal given to me as a gift (but not from a friend). I have to admit, I do not like the parable format. The stories told in this way seem contrived; no wait, they don't seem contrived, they are contrived.

The book also has no author. Well, OK, no single author. Instead, credit for the book is given to the Arbinger Institute. There is no research behind the story, and no academic references other than to an obscure doctor Ignaz Semmelweis. The book felt like a white paper for a leadership consulting firm. Maybe that is Arbinger's intent, or maybe that's my self-betrayal.

That's not to say that there aren't helpful tips in the book. Like all material of this ilk, there is plenty we can apply to ourselves. In Leadership, the authors make the case that spend our time in boxes, where we rationalize our behavior and blame others. Coming out of these boxes must be like a self-actualizing experience.

I wouldn't be honest if I recommended the book. Certainly the lessons, taken with a grain of salt, could be very helpful. Myself, I will take away some of the concepts and I will be more conscious of delusions. In the end, maybe it will make me a better leader and person after all.

Running With Scissors

I just finished the book Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. First I should let you know that there is nothing technical and no business lesson in the book. It is simply a memoir of the author's thoroughly screwed up adolescence.

The book is a quick read. I finished it in less than a week, reading only on the train during my commute (when I was not sleeping). There is no cohesive plot, and virtually no character development or plot tension. Instead each chapter reads like a short story. You could easily skip around the book, like a Quentin Tarantino movie, without confusion.

Each little tale is interesting, humorous, and disturbing all at once. And the strong gay theme makes the book a bit uncomfortable. I probably wouldn't have read much more than a chapter, but curiosity over what could happen next kept me going.

I don't care much for Burroughs' writing. He seems to waste words drifting off on tangents. And the characters are so underdeveloped that the reader forms no attachments. Reading the epilog was no more interesting than reading a newspaper article. With all the craziness, you'd think the author would express some passion, but instead he drones on almost completely detached.

I found the book entertaining enough to finish. But I would not recommend it. Save your summer reading for authors who pour passion into their work.